


Scars of War

by MidnightCreator



Series: Paladin Pack [5]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Homesick Nekko, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Nekko, Shiro and Nekko bond over past trama, comforting Shiro, do not EVER mess with Nekkos pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:10:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9837026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidnightCreator/pseuds/MidnightCreator
Summary: Shiro has struggled with his PTSD for quite some time, confiding in only himself. But there is another aboard the castle who can benefit from taking comfort in Shiro as much as Shiro can take comfort in him.





	

Shiro was not unfamiliar with sleepless nights. He had quite a large number of them, enough so that he had a system for dealing with them. When he woke from nightmares he would sit in his bunk for a time, measuring his breathing and try to calm his heart rate. If he was unable to sleep once he calmed he would patrol the castle. He usually didn’t see anything of note on his midnight walks, maybe one of Allura’s mice once and awhile. He had certainly never walked into the dinning room to find an alien cat-fox hybrid sitting with his torso sprawled across the table, tail tip twitching back and forth and methodically chewing on what looked to be some kind of stick in prior patrols.

“Nekko?”

The hybrid’s head jerked upwards, “Shi-ra?” Nekko frowned and dropped the object in his jaws. “Is something wrong Shiro?”

“Uh…no…what are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Nekko waved dismissively. “Just didn’t want to sleep.”

“Then why are you…” Shiro gestured at the stick.

Nekko shifted in his seat and ducked his head, “…boredom.”

Shiro frowned. Nekko’s behavior was reminiscent of a child caught with their hands in the cookie jar, not to mention Shiro could feel something definitively not right in the air, “You can talk to me Nekko.”

The Patrian’s tail twitched again and he lowered his head back onto the table, “Fine, fine, I’m a bit homesick and I had a minor Phantom Version.”

“That doesn’t explain the teething.”

“It helps me. Kell says I’ll lose my teeth before I’m a hundred and fifty if I keep doing it but it beats doing nothing,” as if to prove his point, Nekko clamped his jaw into the stick so that it made a loud crunching sound that made Shiro wince and wonder how Nekko’s jaw and teeth weren’t killing him.

“You know, talking through things is a handy little thing we do on Earth,” Shiro sat in a chair next to Nekko. “Not to mention better for your teeth.”

Nekko huffed around the stick, which, Shiro realized, was made of some plastic looking material. Where the hybrid had found the thing, Shiro had no clue. Still, he was the leader and if Nekko was dealing with some emotional baggage without aid from his siblings or Lance then Shiro felt that the responsibility of making sure his fellow crew member was alright.

Nekko’s ears twitched back and his jaw slacked so that his chew toy dropped into his lap, “I can feel your spirit Shiro. I may not know exactly what you are thinking but you are not duty bound to look after me.”

Shiro started a bit at Nekko’s statement, “But I can’t just up and leave you here. I can feel your spirit too you know, I know you’re upset.”

Nekko’s ear drooped and he ducked his head.

Shiro sighed and moved his chair a bit closer to Nekko, “I won’t push you…but I want to help you Nekko.”

The hybrid’s tail came up to curl around his middle, shoulders hunching up around his neck. Silence stretched between them for quite a time, long enough for Shiro to start wondering if Nekko had just curled into himself like some kind of fuzzy clam.

When the he finally did speck, it nearly made Shiro jump.

“I can’t feel anyone from back home. I can feel my bond with them but that’s all. I can’t feel any of them and it’s terrifying. I don’t know if anyone else has been taken by the Galra, I don’t know if everyone is safe in Haven, I don’t even know if Patria is even there anymore. I can’t lose my pack again. I can’t lose everything all over again Shiro! I can’t!” Nekko was shaking horribly and Shiro didn’t need a pack-bond to feel the anguish rolling of the hybrid.

Shiro reached out a hand and laid it on Nekko’s trembling shoulder, “From what you and your siblings have told us, your race was able to survive a war with someone that was equivalent to a god. I am sure that Patria is still in one piece.”

“Balor was using magic! We know magic, it runs in our bloodlines! No one in any pack knows anything about technology! What if Galra weaponry can counter magic? What if they break through Queen Argenta’s barrier? What if they’ve already taken over the planet? What if they have Talmia?!” Nekko was standing, panic clear on his face. “They can’t hurt her! I promised her I would protect her no matter what! I can’t lose her!”

“Nekko, slow down,” Shiro was, frankly, extremely confused. The Patrian siblings rarely talked about the individuals of their home planet and Shiro assumed it was because it hurt for them to talk about their pack. So he had no idea who Queen Argenta or Talmia were. “Breath Nekko.”

Slowly, Nekko’s breaths evened out and he sat back down, “Sorry.”

“Don’t,” Shiro said firmly. “You’re upset and scared for your race, don’t be sorry.”

Nekko peeked up at Shiro from under his bangs, eyes slightly glossy with unshed tears and teeth worrying his lower lip. Shiro couldn’t help but think of how small Nekko looked, young and vulnerable and just wanting to go home to make sure everything he held close was not destroyed by the Galra.

“Who…who’s Talmia?” Shiro kept his voice soft, trying to push comfort towards Nekko mentally like he often did for all of them.

“She’s,” Nekko swallowed hard and curled his tail more tightly around himself. “She’s my mate. Technically. We’re pretty much mates, we just haven’t had a ceremony.”

Shiro couldn’t help his shock. Nekko had never, once, mentioned that he had a significant other.

Nekko must have felt the surprise, because he gave a very small smile, “Yeah…I love her but talking about her…when I’m so far away I can’t feel her…it hurts.”

Shiro didn’t need to guess how bad it hurt Nekko, he could feel it, a swirling pool of anguish and longing to be somewhere far, far out of any of their reach. The intensity of it made Shiro’s chest ache. Without really thinking, the Black Paladin reached out a hand and started to rub small circles right behind Nekko’s right ear. He had seen Lance pet pretty much all the Patrian’s ears and the siblings seemed to enjoy being petted.

Nekko tilted his head more into Shiro’s palm. Low, rumbling purrs started to fill the air as some of the fear and sorrow ebbs away from the hybrid. It doesn’t leave, not by a long shot, and Shiro knows it won’t ever disappear until Nekko’s feet stand on Patrian ground.

 

“Kit, can I talk to you?”

Kitsuna looked up from the floor and grinned at Shiro, “Sure, what do you need?”

Shiro sat next to Kit, face serious, “What was Nekko like before?”

Kit frowned, “Before…?”

“Before the Galra, before he was forced to fight in the arena.”

Kit’s demeanor sobered within an instant, smile dropping into a slight frown, “…what brought this on?”

“Um…” Shiro hesitated. “I just…Kellan suggested I talk with Nekko sometimes, to help with my PTSD and the last few times it’s been pretty one sided. He was open about himself at first but lately he just asks stuff about me.”

“And you want me to tell you embarrassing stories about him?”

“No, I want to know about him. I know Kellan was born into a family of warriors and chose to be a healer, I know you have a pet dragon back on your planet. But all I know about Nekko is what I’ve seen.”

“And about his mate.”

“I know her name.”

Kit shrugged, “I don’t know what you want to hear Shiro.”

“Just…tell me about him…”

Kit sighed, “He was…very different. Don’t get me wrong, Nekko has always been a skilled warrior but he was always more of an ‘I can kick your tail all across the territory but I’m more interested in watching pray migration patterns’ attitude, always a thinker, a planer, intensely curious. And one of the sharpest minds among the pack, he could come up with strategies faster then any other creature.”

Shiro frowned a bit at the description. Nekko was, by no means, a dumb person but in a fight Shiro had noted that Nekko tended to lean on his instincts, fighting in a manner similar to Keith’s just with a bit more defense. He had seen bits of curiosity however, when Hunk or Lance mentioned something about Earth or Coran launched into a story of his youth

“He…had changed a lot when Kell and I found him at the arena. He acted more beast-like, looking at everyone and everything like it would attack him within seconds. He’s still sharp minded but he needs to be reminded to come up with a plan.”

Shiro turned the new information over in his mind. He had noticed Kell often asked Nekko to come up with plans when they all gathered for training sessions. When he wasn’t asked, Nekko acted on his instincts and would move about in a manner that somehow managed to look calculated and erratic simultaneously. But when Kellan asked his brother for a plan, Nekko’s style of battling became more smooth and controlled. Not to mention he was somehow extremely skilled at chess, there was no way he would be so good if there wasn’t a strategizing mind hidden under two years worth of forced survival methods.

“He’s getting better though.”

Shiro looked up at Kit’s comment, pausing his train of thought with a questioning expression.

“Ever since he found Lance some of the old Nekko from home started to bleed through,” Kit explained. “He’s still extremely reserved but he’s starting to use his mind more and more again. I wouldn’t be surprised if he started observing everything on every planet we land of within a few months.”

Shiro chuckled at the mental image of Nekko running around like a kid in a theme park, eagerly wanting to look at every little thing.

“So…he’s a researcher at heart?”

Kit frowned and twitched her ears back, “I have no clue what a researcher is. Nekko was… is, Haven’s head Archiver.”

“On Earth, that’s essentially the same as a researcher.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

 

“Shiro, stay with us.”

Shiro hissed breath through gritted teeth, trying to keep his mind in the present moment.

They had picked up a distress signal and had, of course, flown down to the rocky gray planet to investigate. The Patrian siblings had insisted on going with the Paladins, stating that if a fire fight broke out, they could assist any people in need of assistances on the ground.

But the beacon had turned out to be a trap. Not set by the Galra, oddly enough, but rather a band of what Shiro could only describe as space pirates. Space pirates who were clever enough to wait until the team had moved away from their lions before throwing up some kind of barrier that encased the entire group in a pale pink dome and separating them from their lions and releasing some kind of foul smelling gas that made it difficult to much farther then a foot or two. 

And that was how Shiro ended up fighting against a PTSD flashback from behind a rock while Nekko was practically on top of him and doing what he could to keep Shiro in that moment despite the fact that Shiro was sure Nekko was battling his own flashback. If the stench from the pirate’s gas were enough to trigger Shiro then he knew that Nekko’s far more sensitive nose had to be sending the hybrid over the edge.

“We’re not there, we’re not in the arena.”

Shiro nodded, feeling as though Nekko’s words were for his own comfort as well as Shiro’s, “Gotta help the team.”

“Right, they need us.”

Shiro nodded again, determination pushing aside the vision for the time so that he could move around to peek out from behind the rock. The gas prevented him form seeing very well, what visibility he had came from the scanners in his helmet. 

“Nekko, how well can you see in all this?”

Nekko’s ears twitched forward and swiveled around, pupils widening slightly from tiny black lines into narrow ovals, “There’s least three close to us, I can’t smell any others because of the gas, but I can feel Hunk and Keith to our right. Pidge and Lance are closer to where we put the lions.”

Shiro nodded, “Okay, we need to find what their using to put up that barrier.”

“My siblings and I can keep the pirates busy, since we can find them easier, while you look for the power source.”

“Right,” Shiro set his jaw, moving from a kneeling position into a crouch, and felt a few small sparks of encouragement from Nekko as they split apart. He heard a startled cry and a fierce yowl as Nekko set about attacking the enemy, while Shiro moved around the edges of the barrier trapping them, looking for anything resembling a power source.

His search was cut sort when he felt something jab into his side and send a bolt of electricity through is body. Shiro’s vision blurred and for a moment he was back there, surrounded by crowds cheering and the stench of blood. Another jolt caused him to shout in pain as he twisted and tried to strike his attacker.

The pirate’s leader was towering over him, tall and stick-like while light blue skin and large black eyes. His face split into a sharp, twisted, yellow sneer, “The Galra will reward me greatly for bring them Voltron and their Campion.”

Shiro’s breath hitched as more visions of the arena surfaced in his mind, practically chocking him as he tried to regain his footing and defend himself. The pirate raised his staff again and the end sparked with pink energy and Shiro tensed, bracing himself for the attack. But before the captain could even bring his weapon down there was a loud snarl and a whoosh of wind.

Nekko stood with his back to Shiro, standing between the Paladin and his aggressor. Huge, deep blue wings dotted in small specks of white had sprouted from his back, spread to their full length and Shiro could feel the mix of protectiveness and rage rolling of Nekko. The hybrids wings blocked Shiro view of the pirate, but he heard the alien shout in shock and terror and felt a bit relived that he couldn’t see the undoubtedly terrifying expression on Nekko’s face.

Nekko yowled again and launched himself at the captain, wings beating the air wildly. Shiro flinched when he heard a loud crunch and a screech of pain. Nekko pulled back with a sickening squelching sound as his teeth rip through the pirate’s shoulder. He stepped back so that he was shielding Shiro while the pirate stumbled backwards enough for Shiro to see the damage Nekko had inflicted. The aliens shoulder had been torn to ribbons, dark blue blood seeping from the gaping and mangled flesh of would as the pale alien grew impossibly paler.

“F-fall back,” he yelled as he stumbled into the gas fog. “They have that manic of a beast! Everyone move!”

In seconds the barrier collapsed and the gas cleared enough for Shiro to see the pirates clambering into their ship, a trail of blue blood leading from in front of Nekko to the pirate’s ship.

“Are you alright?”

Shiro looked up at Nekko’s voice. The Patrians wings were still out, fully visible for all to see, his eyes bore a midnight blue color rather then forest green and thick, blue blood coated his jaw. The sight and the stench did nothing to quell Shiro’s already teetering mind, his brain screaming that he had to fight, to survive. 

But he fought that part of his mind down with the argument that this was Nekko, loyal to a fault and fiercely protective of anyone he considered pack. He had attacked because he saw Shiro as a pack-mate and had protected him from a threat.

The effort to calm himself did little to stop his muscles from tensing when Nekko stepped closer to him, “I-I’m fine.”

Nekko frowned at Shiro, ears twitching back. The blue of his eyes started to fade back into green and the powerful wings began to blur and become more mist like, “Kellan should be here in a moment.”

Shiro nodded as he slowly pushed himself up to his knees, “What about you?”

“I’m fine,” Nekko replied, covering his bloodied jaw with his sleeve as he tried to remove the mess.

Shiro opened his mouth, planning on pushing his question because he could feel something amiss but he was interrupted by the rest of the team running over to them, Kellan immediately crouching next to Shiro to examine his injuries. The Paladins crowded around their leader in a lose circle, asking what had happened, except for Lance.

Lance had moved with Kit towards Nekko, who had turned so Shiro could no longer see his face but he could still feel something wrong, what exactly it was, however, he, for some reason, couldn’t quite pinpoint.

 

Shiro had meant to find Nekko once they were back on the castle, but he had seen no trance of the hybrid in question. He had started to try following their bond, like Lance often did, but Allura summoned them for a briefing.

It took an hour for all the details to come together, with Kellan and Kit adding their accounts. But the third sibling was not with them and when Allura asked of Nekko’s whereabouts Kit stated that he had gotten into a heated skirmish with the captain and Nekko wanted to clean himself up.

Once the briefing was done, they had all been told to clean up and rest and Shiro decided he would find Nekko after he showered and make sure the Patrian was alright. 

But finding Nekko turned out to be more difficult then Shiro had originally thought. Their bond, while not weak per say, was most certainly not very strong and it made tracking Nekko through it not as simple as closing his eyes and allowing feeling to take him to Nekko. When Shiro finally did find Nekko, the sight before him caused pause.

Nekko was in one of the more unused hallways, sitting against the wall with his legs crossed and leaning forward, ears up and pupils blown wide. Before him were Allura’s mice, chattering away and jumping about, aside from the tubby little Plat, who looked quite happy with sitting on Nekko’s knee. It was, if Shiro were honest, a bit of an odd scene.

Shaking his head, Shiro stepped forward and cleared his throat. Nekko’s head snapped up almost instantly, the wide eyed look of curiosity shifting into one of surprise, “Shiro? Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing,” Shiro shook his head. “Mind if I join you?”

Nekko shifted slightly, “Not at all.”

Shiro smiled and settled next to Nekko. The tiniest mouse, Chulatt, clambered up Shiro’s arm to settle on his shoulder, chitterling quietly as he went. Now that they were side by side, Shiro could feel that weird emotion again coming from Nekko and he still found himself unable to place it, “Are you alright?”

Nekko blinked at Shiro, ears flattening slightly, “I should be asking you that.”

“Your brother healed me, I’m fine. But you’ve been acting weird.”

Nekko huffed and crossed his arms, “I’m fine Shiro, just tired.”

“But there is something else, and do not tell me it’s nothing because I can feel something amiss with you and you are making a point of not touching me.”

Nekko tensed and ducked his head, “Don’t worry over it Shiro.”

“I am worrying Nekko. Are you still having flashbacks?”

“No,” Nekko brought up his knees, relocating Platt to his shoulder, and hugged them close to his chest.

“Than what?”

Nekko let out a low whine and hid his face in his knees. Shiro frowned and raised a hand, placing it on Nekko’s shoulder. The hybrid tensed and his ears pressed back so tightly against his head they almost disappeared into his hair, “Nekko, talk to me. Please.”

“I lost control, okay!” Nekko’s head jerked up so quickly Shiro was surprised his neck didn’t crack. “I promised myself that I would not do that again when Kell and Kit got me out of the arena. I didn’t need to fight like a feral beast so I had no excuse to rely solely on instinct. And what’s worse I did it in front of you! I know you have bad Phantom Visions and you were practically in the middle of one and I still lost it like a maniac and made it worse!”

“Nekko, you’re not a maniac.”

“No?” Nekko laughed, low and without humor. “Do you have any idea what I did in the arena? What I almost did to that alien?”

“I won’t lie, if you had killed him I wouldn’t blame you.”

Nekko blinked owlishly.

Shiro continued, “In the arena, you didn’t have a choice. I may not remember much of when I was in the arena but I remember enough. You survived using every way you could and you protected me when I was in danger and what you did got us all out of a bad situation. You’re not an out of control beast. You are one of the greatest warriors I have met. Brave, loyal and fiercely protective over your pack, plus Lance thinks you’re the best older brother ever.”

Nekko snorted, “Bet he says that to his blood brothers too.”

“Maybe,” Shiro shrugged. “But you’re still great and I’m not scared of you if that’s what you were worried about.”

“I know that,” Nekko’s shoulder relaxed slight and he leaned slightly into Shiro’s touch. “Still hate losing control.”

“You’ll be alright,” Shiro reassured. “It’ll pass sooner or later.”

Nekko sighed and leaned against Shiro’s shoulder, moving his legs enough so that the two mice still on the floor could climb into his lap, “Yeah…it’ll pass.”

**Author's Note:**

> A part of me wonders...do people even read the notes?  
> Well, for anyone reading this note here's a fun fact; Patrians live for an average of 200 to 250 years.  
> And another thing, in human years, Nekko is about two or three years older then Shiro.
> 
> Leave a comment on what you thought, constructive criticism is always welcomed and I hope you have a lovely day. :)


End file.
